99 Problems (And a Bitch Is One, and It’s Hedge Parsley)

After so much neglect, my yard was rife with, uh, opportunities. There are also challenges unrelated to the neglect that will likewise need to be addressed. Though a lot has been done - I neglected this blog and didn’t update as I went, like I’d hoped - there’s a lot more to be done, and I’d still like to document the work thus far.

Some context about my yard: the previous owner was very fond of trees, such that he planted dozens. He also planted roses and some other things in various places. The variety of plants that he brought into the yard, and the sheer quantity of them, has attracted quite a lot of wildlife as a direct result. This has presented some challenges while also being a source of joy for me. The logistics and expense of having so many trees is an ongoing challenge of its own.

Problems to be addressed

• Grass - Ongoing mowing, plus the grass has some patchy areas thanks to a lack of sunlight (trees blocking the sun), flood patterns, dog paths, and drought
• Edging - The grass up against the house, the block where the AC unit is, the fence, and bordering the sidewalk and driveway needs to be edged and maintained; the grass along the sidewalk has been allowed to grow such that dirt has begun to collect on the actual sidewalk and hide the edges completely; this has to be addressed in waves
• Soil erosion during heavy rains - The space between my neighbors’ houses and my own has a low point where the water from both sides funnels into a little river that goes all the way out to the street, collecting soil along the way and depositing it in the space where the ground levels out a bit, which is right before the sidewalk, and on the sidewalk and driveway, making quite the mess
• Tree health & maintenance - Need to have overall health of trees evaluated and have them trimmed professionally for the level I can’t reach, then trim the lower parts I can reach myself, plus ongoing trimming as part of regular maintenance
• Hedge parsley - Plentiful in a few spots, namely the front garden bed and one garden bed on the sidewalk of the house; terrible pest
• Rose bushes - They have all grown in excess of 8-9’ tall and over the pavers, now covering the edge of the yard; a branch of the largest one has actually grown so thick that it broke through the fence and grew nearly an entire bush - still using the roots of the original bush - in my neighbor’s yard
• Rogue trees - I have two hibiscus trees and two fig trees that have all grown abundantly out of nothing in the last few years; they will all need to be tamed and potentially removed, due to their locations and the nature of a fig tree
• Flower beds - They will have to be cleaned up, have the soil rehabbed, and replanted (total of five)
• Re-pave existing paved area - Prior owner paved an area just off the patio, but grass has grown through it; the pavers will have to be pulled up, area leveled, have a barrier applied, then have the pavers re-placed
• Pave area next to neighbors’ shed - My neighbors have a shed that is physically attached to my fence, which has been home for a variety of animals, rats and rabbits included; this traffic has done damage to the fence, ground, and grass, and the shed provides a haven for the rats that plague my property; I can’t force them to tear down the shed - nor can I convince them, as I’ve tried - but paving my side that is adjacent to it will at least reduce the traffic that continuously causes damage
• Replace/repair fence - Several sections of fence have been damaged by wildlife, my dogs, and just general wear & tear
• Utility bed - Flower bed around utilities has gotten overgrown, plus some stuff has died; need to clean it up
• Random holes - There are quite a few small holes throughout the yard, thanks to rabbits, armadillos, large weeds being pulled, plants or trees that have died and been uprooted, etc; have to locate these and fill them

I’ll talk through these in individual posts as I address them. I am also working to create a visual plan for the entire yard so I can plan where to put various plants and projects, which requires a lot of measuring and documentation.

Recap: The Beginning

I have been neglecting my yard off and on since I bought this house. Frankly, I never liked yardwork… growing up, my dad assigned mowing to me as a chore, and I hated it. The suburban house where I grew up had a large yard - front and back - and, of course, it was in Texas, so it was hot. I hated getting grassy and sweaty, and it certainly wasn’t worth the $5 or $10 I got in return. I never learned how to use a weed eater, so I just mowed as well as I could without doing any edging.

My elderly neighbor, who was like a grandfather to me, had an affinity for yardwork that I did not understand - until recently, anyway. He had a full array of tools and would attempt to give me advice. I was an ungrateful teenager and didn’t really pay attention. He repaid my inattention and lack of care by going behind me with his edger and making things look much sharper than I left them. I wish I’d listened. I could have learned so much from him.

All of that to say: I tried to avoid doing yard work from the moment I bought this house. I inherited a lawnmower, and I did mow here and there with it, but I eventually hired someone to do it regularly. When that stopped, I looked for others, and it was hard to find someone who was reliable, reasonable with cost, and capable of quality work. I eventually gave up the search and decided I needed to do it myself to save money. I bought an electric mower - having to deal with the gas was one part I hated - and a set of electric lawn tools.

My first spring here, weeds popped up everywhere. Pre-pandemic, I had a busy life out of the house, and I didn’t address the weeds with any sense of urgency. They became quite tall, and eventually, I spent a few days pulling them. I filled an entire garbage can - the big one that gets put on the street once a week for pickup - with weeds from my backyard. It was painful! I quickly hired a company to come treat the yard for weeds, and I’m still enjoying a yard that’s 99% free of weeds thanks to them.

Fast forward to this summer: I had mowed a week prior when I received a letter from the HOA about the length of my grass. I was instantly frustrated. My grass was what, 4” tall, maximum? I read their quote of the bylaw and realized it also called out edging, among other things. I had never edged. I would typically let the grass that had crossed the line over into the sidewalk grow until I could fold it over the main part of grass and do my best to cut it that way. It wasn’t effective. The edges of my yard hadn’t looked neat in years, but they weren’t terrible. In my annoyance, I thought, “Fine! Complaining about 4” grass and imperfect edges? I’ll make this yard look great! I’ll show them!” And so it began, with spite.