New year, refurbished you.

The frequency of posts related to resolutions on my Facebook news feed reminds me that this is the time of year when people collectively decide to change in various ways - most popularly, to become more fit. I see dozens of posts, ranging from friends irate at the abundance of new or recently-returning members at their gym to others who very well may be the cause of this irritation. Never mind that these "ghost members" keep fitness centers in business by having their dues automatically debited from their checking accounts but not ever actually visiting the gym after January 26th, thus eliminating potential machine wear and tear, water and electricity usage, and whatever other costs gyms incur. On the other side of things, a co-worker informed me yesterday that his resolution is to eat more chocolate, which he began by purchasing several king-size candy bars. Which he ate in front of another associate who had, as many do, resolved to lose more weight. Irony for breakfast, excellent!

"New year, new you."
It's an advertising slogan, an over-used saying, a trite reminder that the old you is somehow bereft of merit, attractiveness, or whatever trendy attribute currently is being pursued by those around you. It appeals to many: "Ah, yes, I love shiny, new things!" I take issue with a few points on this statement: 1) The implied assessment of the dawn of a new year being the best time for change. 2) That the "you" you are pursuing is somehow completely different from the "you" who hears this statement. In the interest of encouraging a different thought process, I have detailed my arguments here.

"New year..."
Is the beginning of a year an appropriate time for change? Absolutely. Is it the only (or the most) appropriate time for change? Absolutely not. This idea that we must resolve to make positive changes in our lives once a year is poppycock. On February 2nd, 2012, I decided to change by starting a regular practice of yoga. I did this because my doctor recommended it to ease my anxiety; never mind the fact that she more or less ordered me to do it in November 2011. The happiest people I have known make changes as they are needed, not when it is required due to social pressure. I am certainly glad to see that many are committing to positive changes, but such things should not be isolated to this time of year.

Maybe it should be "New minute..." - because you can, and should, make changes at any moment. Particularly regarding undergarments, in that specific moment before you put on your pants.

"...new you."
The preposterousness of this half of the statement makes me laugh every time (silently, within my own mind, as those who take it seriously have been working out a lot - or so I hear). This is similar to those words so often printed on the boxes of products that so badly need help making it out of the store and into your closet/garage/attic/other seldom used, usually dusty space in your home. "New & improved!" - the world's most popular paradox. If it is new, it was not here previously; thus, it could not have possibly been improved from a previous state. However, sales of items with simply "Improved!" on the side have been shown to be lackluster, as humans always want the full package: shiny new things AND things that are better than they were before being repackaged. Unless it's a hamburger from McDonald's, in which case, only "New!" will work.

Anyway, you are going to be the same "you" tomorrow who existed yesterday, with the same fingerprints (barring Fight Club-esque experiences featuring lye and fingertips), DNA (unless you are bitten by a life-changing spider and feel inspired to climb up the sides of buildings and fight crime), and basic foundation (excepting, of course, those that have accidents with adamantium). This is not to say that you cannot change; thanks to inspiration from sources such as your scale, Oprah, The Seven Habits of Highly-Effective People, and the Cosmetic Surgery Association's print magazine New You (ahahaha, silly surgeons!), you can make changes ranging from small ones in your day-to-day life to ones that necessitate hours of patience at the DMV in the pursuit of a new driver's license photo. Truthfully, you are just doing what electronics companies do on a regular basis: swapping out some parts, cleaning up the exterior a bit, and putting the finished product in new packaging. Refurbished you, now available at your local Fry's Electronics for a reduced price!

Change is good.
So change, and make it a daily habit on so many levels. Change your clothes. Change your perspective. Change your habits. Like any good pilot, make adjustments as conditions change. Even if your changes do not work out, you will have learned something. If you resist this practice, the floodwaters of change will drown you as everything around you changes (and not just when Prince's ever-popular song is done being played for the year and party quarters are graced with a fine coat of dried champagne).

The only thing that does not change is the frequency of change itself.