Something's gotta give!

When an irresistible force such as you
Meets an old, immovable object like me
You can bet just as sure as you live
Something's gotta give, something's gotta give, something's gotta give

When an irrepressible smile such as yours
Warms an old, implacable heart such as mine
Don't say no, because I insist!
Somewhere, somehow, someone's gotta be kissed

So I'm gone, who knows what the fates might have in store
From their vast, mysterious skies
I'll try hard ignoring those lips that I adore
But how long can anyone try?

Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight it with all of our might
Chances are, some heavily star-spangled night
We'll find out just as sure as we live
Something's gotta give, something's gotta give, something's gonna give!
-Frank Sinatra, Something's Gotta Give

I love listening to Frank Sinatra. In fact, I asked for more of his music for Christmas. I especially like listening to his music around this time of year, when the hustle and bustle associated with the coming of the holidays starts to fill the world. Starbucks red cups, Christmas lights, busy stores, heavy coats, colorful scarves and gloves, Christmas music, hot chocolate, colder weather, cheery attitudes... it's such a romantic time of year, and his music just fits right into the scene.

For now, I'm happy to experience the romantic feeling of the season by myself and enjoy the sight of others enjoying it in couples. I can't seem to find anyone who's on the same page as I am, so I'm taking it as a sign that it's just not a good time for it for me, and I'm moving on. It's quite unsettling that most people seem to be in search of someone purely for the purposes of hurting or using them. So I'll just wait, and hopefully, it will be worth the wait.

The value of whatever happens now is kind of moot anyway because though I am mature for my age, I have so much more growing and learning to do, and I'm still establishing and strengthening who I am as a person. I've been so busy lately that I have not been able to serve all of my interests. There are so many things I want to do, and yet it so often seems like I don't have time for them.

Now that I'll have some extra time on my hands, I'm going to be focusing on some things:
-getting in shape through changing my diet and exercising more
-reading at least one book every week
-writing more often (see my most recent attempt at creative writing below, "der Kampf der Fliege")
-doing things that are calming to my soul, like walking through the Garden
Hopefully, doing this like this will help me slow down a little and regain some things I feel I've lost over the past few months.

Oh... and confidence is money.